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my ex-boyfriend use to abuse me and treated me like **** whe

[20]

my ex-boyfriend use to abuse me and treated me like **** when he felt like it. it has been two years since i have left the situation but somehow i can't move on. i have tried to be in relationships since then i always end up treating my boyfriend like crap. my last relationship i actually asked my boyfriend to hit me. he was very taken aback by my request and refused to do it and i was actually disappointed that he refused. i think me wanting to be hit comes from the fact that when i was younger everyone around me would physically, emotionally, and sexually abuse me and so now i crave that abuse to feel like a human. i need help

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 3
[5490]
Dec 2

I am so sorry for what you are going through. It can take a long time to get over an abusive relationship. And sounds like you are still trying to cope with abuse from your childhood. Which I found out was why I stayed in an abusive relationship. I am not expert but almost sounds like you think you deserve to be treated this way because of the way you were treated in the past so you expect everyone to treat you this way. Please know you don't deserve it. You deserve better. Love should not hurt.

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[20]
Dec 2

i have gotten so use to it that it is normal now and anything different from it feels strange. my ex would have moved the world for me but it just wasn't good enough. i too stayed with both of my ex's who use to abuse me and somehow i thought i was happy

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[5490]
Dec 3

@nay0428 exactly we think it's normal because that's what we are used to. For the first time in my life I am taking the time to heal and concentrate on me. When you are ok with yourself and become more confident and realize you deserve better you will start attracting better people and will reject those that are not good for you.

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